Please explain the hukm regarding separation of children in their beds. At what age is separation an obligation upon the parents? Also can a parent sleep in the same bed as their child?
1. Separation of Children's Beds at Age 7
Islamic teachings mandate that children should have their beds separated when they reach the age of 7. This obligation is based on the hadith reported by Daarqutni and al-Hakim, where the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
"When your children reach the age of 7, then separate their beds, and when they reach 10, beat them if they do not pray their salah."
Additionally, a narration by al-Bazzar on the authority of Abi Rafi’ further emphasizes this requirement. It states:
"We found in a sheet near the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) when he died, on which the following was written: Separate the beds of the slave boys and girls and brothers and sisters of 7 years of age."
These hadiths specifically mention the age of 7 as the time when bed separation should occur. Another hadith reported by Ahmad and Abu Dawud states:
"Order your children to pray at the age of 7, and beat them when they are 10 (if they do not pray), and separate their beds."
While this hadith mentions bed separation, it does not specify the age at which it should occur. Therefore, it is interpreted in conjunction with the other hadiths that clearly establish the age of 7 as the time for this separation. Thus, it is obligatory for parents to ensure that their children's beds are separated when they reach the age of 7. Before this age, however, it is not obligatory.
2. Separation of Beds Between Parents and Children
Regarding the separation of beds between parents and their children, Islamic teachings indicate that such separation is not obligatory. This is based on a hadith reported by Abu Dawud in which the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
"No man should reach/come to sleep with a man, nor woman with a woman, except with a child or a parent."
This hadith explicitly prohibits a man from sleeping in the same bed as another man, and similarly for women. However, it also clarifies that there is nothing wrong with a father or mother sleeping with their children, regardless of whether the children have reached maturity.
Furthermore, the hadiths that require parents to separate their children's beds are specifically focused on the separation between children, brothers, and sisters. For instance:
"When your children reach the age of 7, then separate their beds," and "Separate the beds of the slave boys and girls and brothers and sisters of 7 years of age."
These texts are specific to children and do not include any instructions about parents. Therefore, based on the understanding of these hadiths, it is permissible for parents to sleep with their children in the same bed, regardless of the children's age.